Skip to main content

Another Spork Post.

JUST MAKE THE SNORING STOP.


I'm trying really hard not to kill my husband in his sleep.  Every night I get ripped out of my dreams to the sounds of chainsaws and bloody massacres, only to come to and realize that all of this violence is coming from my husband's breathing orifices.  Oh the sounds......the SOUNDS.

The spork-man has always snored.  I think most men do.  But I've always been able to subtly threaten his life and nudge his liver with my elbow to make him stop.  It's not stopping.  It never stops now.  I've nudged and kicked and yelled.  I'm becoming a night time screaming maniac.  I wake up and contemplate my own suicide.  I try sleeping with ear plugs, but the orifice sounds penetrate the mattress and I'm, again, ripped out of my dreams by a what seems to be a level 5 earthquake.

Tequila should help.  And a spork.

















Comments

  1. AnonymousWednesday, March 25, 2015 7:02:00 PM

    Yay! So glad to know I am not the only sufferer!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No to Negativity.

There's really no other way to describe this week so far than to refer to it as crappy.  It's a crappy week.  We had a ton of snow on the weekend that has decided to stick around ( it's April damn it ....I JUST WANT TO RUN OUTSIDE), I'm in a super bitchy mood, awful things are happening all over the world, my family is coming down with some type of  illness, and I'm losing motivation for both the A-Z Challenge and my Commit to be Fit Challenge.  Everything is just plain crappy. So N is for Negativity.  I feel negative...and crappy.
8 comments
Beer me >>>

Kick Ass.

  Day 11, Letter K, and almost 5 pounds gone!  I'm kicking ass at my A-Z Commit to be Fit Challenge!!   I'm quite certain that the next 5 pounds are going to be quite a bit tougher than the first 5, but I'm willing to do the work.
8 comments
Beer me >>>

Good choices.

Happy Monday everyone!  I hope your week is a good one! We're on Letter G for the A-Z Challenge, and my commit to be fit post is about making good choices. Making good choices isn't always easy for me.  Mainly, because I'm usually really drunk and not thinking about what's best for me in the long run. You're probably thinking that I'm talking about making good diet choices and, of course, I am, but they aren't the only choices that need to be made when choosing to live a fit and healthy lifestyle.   Nutrition and diet choices are, actually, probably the easiest of all them all.
15 comments
Beer me >>>