The Drunk Runner

One of my facebook friends posting a hilarious picture of mens knitted elephant underwear.  It had ears and the trunk and all.  I added a picture below to help with your lacking imaginations.  Anyways, the person she shared it from had the same last name as someone that I went to elementary school with.  This led to me facestalking my Grade 3 class.  I remember the bitch of the class: RH.  Man, did I hate her.  She was a bully and mean and horrible and, of course, I wanted to be her friend.  She made my life hell.  And now she's fat.  That's all I have to say about that. Really fat...just in case you were wondering how fat "fat" is.  Today's reason to become an alcoholic is: Fat elephants and available caesars.

I just diagnosed myself via the internet with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" .  Told you I was dying.  It said nothing about my alcoholism.  FYI.

Today's reason to become an alcoholic is: At 3 oclock in the morning, my youngest child is walking around our bedroom naked.  "Young child," I say "Why are you walking around my bedroom naked".  Young child replies "Daddy won't put clothes on me and I'm cold".  WTF?  I asked the husband why he is not putting clothes on his cold and naked child and he replies with "I'm tired".  After elbowing the side of the husband's head (in my mind), I clothed the cold and naked child and put him back to bed.  At this time I realize how incredibly messy the house is, even though the husband said he would clean up the messes so I could go to bed early and get over my deathly illnesses.  2 points for booze, no points for husband.

I'm failing at life and I'm dying.  Ok....I'm not dying, but I have a cold and a fever and I just feel like complaining for a little while.  I might also not be failing at life, but I was reviewing my goals I created in May and I'm not as far ahead as I was hoping to be.  I've actually accomplished a few of them, but had a major fail on the main one "pay off credit card the same day I use it" <----yeah, that didn't work.  We bought a hot tub.  It's a great hot tub and filled with great times....and hot water!  Oh, and we bought another house too.  F***. Let's try to stay a little bit optimistic here though.  What are the things that I have done?  Well, I ran the Woody's half (see previous blog post), I have avoided late fees on movies (I just don't rent them anymore), I haven't gone into any debt for Christmas (yet), I am living simpler and loving it, the boiler bill is slowly dwindling away, and I have blogged more (3rd post