Someone give me a damn trophy already...

 

'Sup.

I’m a really good drinker.  Like…super good.  If there were awards for good drinkers, I could win some.  Sometimes I think that maybe I should be less of a really good drinker and let someone else get the good drinker awards, but then I think “mmmm….maybe not…I’m pretty good”

Things that make you a good drinker:

Alcohol

Doing cool shit while drunk and/or hungover

Cool shit I can do because I’m a really good drinker:

         I win things all the time!  If I’m doing super good at drinking and then decide to get my exercise in and go for a walk, I come back with all sorts of prizes.  One time I won a light-up palm tree!  I didn’t get to keep it though.  Apparently, the neighbors wanted it back.

-          I get medals.  It’s true.  I accidentally drink copious amounts of alcohol at night, wake up, run races, and then at the end they’re all “holy shit, you were SO hungover.  Here’s a medal”

-          I find missing people.  One time Big G was missing from the party.  He was in the hot tub.  I found him!

Drink.

What I drink:




Margaritas




Caesars
(click for my super awesome recipe!)




Red Wine




Beer

Tequila



Errrr.....I gotta go.